Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
