I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
