I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize