things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh god it's open bar.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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