I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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