That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize