why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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