You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
