Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
