It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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