i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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