I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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