Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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