covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My life is pants optional.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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