Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
