The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize