Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No subtext here. People are naked.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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