I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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