brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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