How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
