I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
