Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
