I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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