Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
