I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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