"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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