i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
