Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
