I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
he's single and there are thong briefs.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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