I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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