Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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