I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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