that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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