Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
