Bisexual people are plain selfish.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
