i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
