is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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