is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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