Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
