I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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