dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
