How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
