I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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