But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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