i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
