Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
