Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you still have your period?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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