my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
vagina is talking i cant
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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