Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
