you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
