hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
