I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
