Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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