Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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