she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
