R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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