I cockslap morals
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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