i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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