If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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