you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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